There’s no escaping the grief process, but the pain won’t last forever and there is a great life waiting on the other side, if you allow it to happen.

I had to put my cat Ricky to sleep. Some of you may have read about how on Christmas Eve I thought I would lose him. Well, he rallied back and had a few good months left to snooze in the sun, chase imaginary gremlins and enjoy a good purr. But his cancer was terminal. The vet said I would know when it was time — and I did — the good times got fewer and farther apart.

He was a great friend, so there’s no escaping the sadness. As much as I believe in the importance of a positive and grateful attitude, it’s ok to experience the pain when a relationship ends and I was reminded how grief is a physical sensation — a cold, and achy place in your chest. Clearly, the terms “heavy heart,” “broken heart,” and “heartache” come from this shared human experience.

That same kind of pain happens when any relationship ends — and not just because of death. Friends move away, people grow apart and decide to pursue different paths, “irreconcilable differences” occur — and we are left to walk through that experience called the grief cycle: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance.

Fortunately, it is a cycle. As painful as the loss may be, in time we come through the tunnel and emerge on the other side. In this week’s edition of Singular magazine, our lead story, “Suddenly Single,” looks at the experience of “suddenly” becoming single after a marriage ends, whether by divorce, or the death of a spouse.

For those of us who have walked through this kind of loss before, it can be easier, painful as it is, because deep down we know the pain isn’t permanent. We can recall when we were on our own and truly happy. However, for those who find themselves suddenly single after a decade or more of marriage, the thought of being single can be terrifying.

Do you remember the first time you climbed to the top of a high diving board? Edging out as far as you could and finally leaping off into the deep end of the pool? The freaky sensation of falling, then hitting the water, sinking for a moment and then bouncing to the surface? Well, it’s the same when you jump into your new life as a single person. It may seem scary at first but it only appears that way. There is a lot of us splashing around and having a great time in the singular pool, more of us every day. We’re here to support you and to cheer you on. So jump on in. You’ll find the water is just fine.

Have a great week everyone!