Single Women and Their Cats

Single Women and Their Cats


It’s an old stereotype that I’ve found to be true. Why is it that single women have such an affinity for feline companions?

Single ladies and their cats
Smokey Joe – age 19, was a single lady’s cat for most of his life.

Single women and their cats – it’s a classic stereotype. The unmarried lady, the spinster even, holed up in her house with only her cats for companionship. Who else, according to Anglo Saxon/American mythology has a cat for a companion? A witch, of course. Isn’t it interesting that our culture has placed two very scary types of women, single ladies and witches, in the “has a cat” category?

Why cats have been given this dubious honor I can only guess. Perhaps because like many unmarried women, cats are independent, enjoy their own company, like to position themselves in a manner that’s both comfortable and attractive, prefer to come and go as they please, resist groveling to a master, and enjoy a good game of “cat and mouse” from time to time.

Of course, the kind of pet you share your life with has nothing to do with your relationship status, not really. And more single men than ever are realizing that cats (insert single women) make excellent companions because they’re relatively low maintenance compared to a dog (insert needy gotta-get-married-now women) while still offering excellent companionship and affection.

Still, all kidding aside, it is interesting that so many single women actually do have an affinity for felines.

I’ve had as many as five at one time, although I’ll admit that was really too many. And I had three cats for years until a couple of weeks ago, when 19-year-old Smokey Joe was euthanized, ready for escape from his worn-out Earth suit.

I’ll miss Smokey Joe. He was one of the great ones: fearless, magnificent and steadfastly loyal. He’d been a loving friend since my ex-husband dropped him off at my apartment for a brief stay some 18 1/2 years ago. Smokey saw me through that divorce and was at my side with a reassuring head-butt when I opened the envelope with the final decree and felt that stab of “it’s really finally over.”

He cast a dubious eye and sharp claw at Armando, the boyfriend who tried to talk me into investing my 401K in his shady real estate dealings. Smokey shared my affection with the two men I thought I would marry but wisely did not, and didn’t judge me for those short-term flings that were frivolous fun but clearly bad choices.

That black and silver tabby saw me through going back to college and starting Singular magazine and SingularCity. He tolerated the introduction of other cats, a parrot and a Chihuahua without asking why he wasn’t enough. He sat in his cat bed on my desk on hundreds of nights as I pounded out another story and considered it his responsibility to wake me up every morning at 5 a.m. with a soft tapping of his big, furry paw on my lip – a tapping that became more insistent if I tried to ignore it.

So when the time came to call the vet to come to my house to help Smokey get to The Rainbow Bridge, I let out a wail and sobbed because that was the day when my good friend of 19 years would leave my house and never again be this single lady’s best cat.

They say that cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild – and I think the same can be said about women who are single. Although we’ve been taught and cajoled to do all we can to become un-single and despite those moments of being overwhelmed with life and wishing we had a partner to help us, there’s a certain feline beauty and cat-like nobility in our spirit. We can see ourselves reflected in the jewel-like eyes of our elegant feline companions and share a kindred spirit.

As for the witch part, I’ll let you decide that for yourself!

Copyright © Kim Calvert / 2014 Singular Communications, LLC.

Kim CalvertKim Calvert is the editor of Singular magazine and the founder of the SingularCity social networking community. An outspoken champion of people who are living their lives as a “me” instead of a “we,” Kim oversees the creative direction and editorial content of the magazine and online social networking community. She secures contributors and is responsible for maintaining the fun, upbeat, inspirational and often-humorous tone of Singular, a lifestyle guide for successful single living.

Leave a Comment on Facebook



14 thoughts on “Single Women and Their Cats

  1. Oh gosh I am sorry I did. It proof read….I am embarrassed cuz he is a beautiful GUY, I am sorry for the misspelling…….uuuugggggghhhhhh

  2. Kim, I forgot to mention what a beautiful and handsome gut Smokey Joe was. I would bet many people oooooed and aaaawwwwwwwed over him.
    Rest in Peace Smokey Joe!

  3. Dear Kim,
    I want you to know how deeply sorry I am for the loss of your beloved Smokey Joe. He sure did show you true love throughout you 18 and a half years. You were a good/ great Mom but the hardest part is at the end and we must do the most selfless act yet the kindest for your friend. They truly leave paw prints on/in your heart. I wish you the best through your journey of grief….it is a long and winding road.
    I also love your comment that he was the tamest of the wild and the wildest of the tame. What a great way to describe our beloved kitties!
    Thank you for sharing Smokey Joe’s story! You both are in my thoughts and prayers.
    Respectfully yours,

    1. Thank you Gerry. We all have our expiration date. I’m grateful that Smokey had so much time, not all of our pets (or us) are blessed with a long life.

  4. Kim,

    What a warm and beautiful story. Written straight from your heart and into ours. Actually brought a tear to my eye and I’m supposed to be a tough guy. Anyone who has ever had to put an animal down will relate. I sure did.


  5. Beautiful article, Kim. I am so sorry about your dear kitty Smokey Joe. But it is sad and shocking that Mr. Neder posted such an unfeeling, tasteless, gross and inappropriate comment. Mr. Neder should be ashamed of himself.

  6. Wonderful article Kim (except that dingbat guy’s comment!)
    I have two older cats who are my kids and the only children I’ve ever wanted. They have bonded to me only and stay away from anyone else. I have never met any guy who was capable of that !

  7. I had a cat like Smokey too. And a broomstick! Lovely story and as a single woman with cats, I can totally relate.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.