|
Sunday, May 10 2009 |
 
Dear Mahvelous,
Stephanie and I dated for several years and lived together for the last year — until we came to the realization that we got along fine as friends, but not as lovers. Both of us have been happily single for the past twenty months, but we continue to have a close platonic friendship. We talk and text several times a week and get together a couple of times a month, sometimes just the two of us and sometimes with our group of friends. Now Steph has met a guy that she likes and he’s says she has to break off her friendship with me — even though she’s told him over and over there’s nothing going on between us. I would hate to lose her friendship. Any ideas? — Jeff
Dear Jeff,
Has he ever met you? Imagining the “ex” — especially if your name comes up frequently in conversation — can bring out the green horns even in the mildest mannered Clark Kent. Here’s my suggestion: Ask Stephanie to see if he is willing to meet you on a friendly double date for dinner. Bring along the hottest chick you can find — another female friend is fine. Explain the situation to your date before you go, so she will understand if you act more affectionate to her than usual. Hopefully, seeing you with an attractive date will alleviate his concerns. I would also advise Stephanie to stop dropping your name in conversation with him. Nothing like hearing an ex referred to fondly or too often, to cause a road wreck in a relationship.
If he is obstinate and won’t meet, you are best to bite your tongue and back off for now. As he feels more secure with Stephanie, he might relax the iron grip on her past as well — and allow you back into her life, at least for an occasional contact. In any case, it is unlikely you will be able to continue as you have, unfettered, so get used to the idea.
Do you have a question for Mahvelous? Send to
This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it
. We would love to hear your comments! Post them below!
|
