Relationship Advice That Works

Pausing to make sure that what I’m about to say doesn’t qualify as one of “The Three C’s” could be one of the most valuable life lessons Milly taught me.

I have a dear friend, Milly. She’s 93 years old and still a hottie — seriously. She has great legs, dresses to the nines, and has her hair and nails done on a regular basis. She lost her third husband several years ago after a long illness. They’d been married 54 years. Although I’m sure Milly could remarry, she’s happy living single these days and is a big fan of our magazine for singles.

Milly, in just about any other society on Earth, would be the village elder, the one all the other women would go to for relationship advice. She’s fulfilling a version of that role now, without having to leave her Encino apartment. At least 50 women call her on a regular basis to seek help with their life problems: husbands, boyfriends, bosses, family members and kids.

It seems Milly has an answer for everything, and one of my favorites is something she calls The Three C’s – don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

You see, a lot of the time when we’re angry at and resentful toward someone, our first response is to give them a good shot of The Three C’s and it’s often those who are closest to us that suffer the most. Any restraint of the tongue and pen disappears when they do something we don’t like.

Remembering the Three C’s in those moments when I just want to let them have it is probably the best relationship advice I’ve ever gotten from Milly. It’s advice I find myself turning to over and over again with a great deal of reflective gratitude.

I don’t always remember The Three C’s before I open my mouth (or write a flaming e-mail). But when I’m selective about speaking or penning what I’m thinking, it’s made for a happier me, a happier you and a happier us.

Copyright © Kim Calvert/2013 Singular Communications, LLC.