Are we singulars so devoted to our careers that there’s no room for a spouse?

It seems that many of the singulars I’ve met — and by that, I mean people who are comfortable being single — share a common trait: they are passionate about their careers.

For them, it’s not so much about making lots of money (although many are so good at what they do they are financially rewarded) it’s about being so turned on by their jobs that they’re unwilling to compromise their careers for marriage. They’re smart enough, or they’ve learned the hard way, how difficult it is to fulfill another person’s demands to be “present” for a long-term committed relationship while also fulfilling the demands of their life’s work.

Sure, there are couples out there where one or both are able to pursue their passion while also having a successful marriage, but how rare is that? And how difficult is it to balance your passion for your work with your passion for another person — in effect, to have your heart in two places at one time?

Back in the day, men had the careers and women stayed home to take care of the family. At least there was a division of labor, but unfortunately, there was also a lot of frustrated women, who never had, or thought they had, the same opportunities as the men in their lives.

Nowadays, woman are free to pursue their passion, but they’re also expected to be great wives and mothers – to be Mrs. Cleaver at home and excel at work, gliding seamlessly between the two worlds. It’s not just women either. It must be very difficult for a man to excel in his profession while also being the dutiful father and husband to a wife who is just as passionate about her career as he is about his.

Is it no wonder we’ve seen a rise in the number of singulars in the land?

Most of us enjoy the companionship of the opposite sex and even indulge in the notion of a movie-perfect romance. Yet we’re realistic enough to realize that our commitment to our professions is a big part of why we get out of bed in the morning and we realize that having a passionate cause while also being someone’s life partner, is a challenge not easily met.

Copyright © Kim Calvert/2010 Singular Communications, LLC.