Many of us are looking for the perfect man, perfect woman, the perfect relationship. Maybe perfect love has been there all along — we just didn’t see it.
avesun / 123RF Photo
I once had the pleasure of conversing with a certified genius. He was an older man, a UCLA physics professor with multiple advanced degrees — a real rocket scientist, as he once played a major role in getting the first man to the moon. His wife had passed away some 15 years earlier and he remained single — a bit unusual since most men who’ve been widowed after a happy marriage tend to remarry quickly.
He had a theory — no, not about oxygen conversion in deep space or spacecraft thermal control systems, but about love — romantic love.
His theory was that all humans are born with a desire to connect with God, a Higher Power, a Creator, a Supreme Intelligence — something outside of themselves that’s more powerful, more knowing.
He believed that when people say they feel a hole inside, an emptiness, a loneliness, it’s actually their innate God-hunger searching for a spiritual connection. He explained that we humans often confuse that hunger with our search for the perfect mate, the person who will love us unconditionally and completely — like what spiritual people say they get from their Higher Power.
I wondered if that was why he was fine being single after losing his wife. I’m a keen observer and watched him closely. All I saw when I looked into his eyes was a peaceful serenity and complete ease with where he was in his life.
Still, it was a surprising theory, given the scientific mind that was expressing it. You’d expect a physicist with a long history of working for NASA, who traveled in the world of academia, to scoff at spiritual concepts. But this man clearly believed there was something more out there than could be explained by human logic.
So what if his theory is correct — that our intense hunger to find perfect love in another human being is actually a desire to seek, find and connect with a Higher Power? If we found our own concept of God, would that intense longing for perfect love in another human stop driving our actions? That’s not to say we wouldn’t still like the idea of a romantic relationship, but the sense of intense longing to connect with someone (something) would no longer include unrealistic expectations about the people we date.
It would certainly bring an end to the loneliness many single people say they feel. Imagine a relationship with something that is eternal, all-forgiving and capable of loving you unconditionally, despite your own imperfections. If we had that, we’d never be alone and all of our other relationships, including those with romantic partners, would have a different priority.
We would no longer confuse that longing inside as the need for a box of Oreos, a bottle of wine or Mr. Right because Mr. Right would be the Creator of the Universe. Now that would be a soul mate. It doesn’t get much better than that — certainly when you’re deciding who you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Copyright © Kim Calvert / 2016 Singular Communications, LLC.
Kim Calvert is the editor of Singular magazine and the founder of the SingularCity social networking community. An outspoken champion of people who are living their lives as a “me” instead of a “we,” Kim oversees the creative direction and editorial content of the magazine and online social networking community. She secures contributors and is responsible for maintaining the fun, upbeat, inspirational and often-humorous tone of Singular, a lifestyle guide for successful single living.