The Singular Man
Men and Cuddling
One of the first things men learn about women is that they like to cuddle — but what women don’t understand is how men feel about cuddling with them.
Image credit: Fogen / 123RF Stock Photo
Men know perfectly well that cuddling is something all women want to do− pre-sex, post-sex, no sex − women are always up for a good cuddle.
As a man, I understand the appeal. It’s warm, comforting, loving. It’s an intrinsic human connection that is both physical and emotional. In its basic nature, it’s rather innocent.
I even know a woman in Los Angeles who throws cuddle parties in her home for people who lack intimacy in their lives or just want to feel connected to another human being. I get it.
But women should also be very aware of how men think about cuddling, because it’s quite different from the female perspective. And when I say “how men think” what I really mean is, how ALL men think.
To a heterosexual man, the cuddle can be all of the things I just described above, but it’s also a gateway to sex. Check that. It’s ALWAYS a gateway to sex.
I’m not saying we only cuddle in hope of sex, what I’m saying is, if we cuddle with you, we are going to want sex. That is a natural response from a normal heterosexual man. And no man should ever have to apologize for wanting more than just a cuddle from an attractive woman. Any physical contact with a woman we find attractive is going to arouse us. We’re that easy. Like it or not, it’s how we’re wired. This goes for dirty dancing too. And our sensational response to that kind of physical contact needs to be respected.
I know what you’re thinking too. What about when we cuddle with women we’re not attracted to? Easy. We never do that. We’re only cuddling, giving neck and back massages, and rubbing feet with women we’re attracted to. Any man who discounts this practice is one of two things: Gay or dishonest.
I recently told a woman that I couldn’t cuddle with her because I knew we weren’t going to have sex, so why would I tease, torture and frustrate myself. That’s exactly what would have happened. She was sad to hear it and couldn’t quite understand why “cuddling” was such a big deal. And why couldn’t I just enjoy it for simply what it was?
The reason we can’t enjoy the cuddle for cuddle sake is because men are extreme sexual beings, much more so than women. This doesn’t make us dirty dogs or sexual deviants. In fact, what it makes us perfectly healthy men. Or perhaps, we’re just not as “evolved” as women. I’m willing to acknowledge women can departmentalize and separate sex from every other activity that isn’t sex. It’s really is an amazing skill. Men cannot do this.
We’re always thinking about it or have the instant capacity to think of it, no matter how presently removed we may be from a sexual situation. Nothing can stop the thoughts from entering our mind. We could be cleaning dog poop off our shoes and a pretty woman could appear in our line of sight and we’ll think about sex. Bad example. Okay, so maybe we are a bit of a collective dirty dog but it’s just the way it is.
Personally, I’m highly indifferent toward sex. However, if an attractive woman’s body is being pressed up against mine I’m automatically going to start thinking about sex. Men are not built with the on/off switch that women possess. We can’t just “shut it down” or turn away a pending orgasm. Yes, we may have emotional, physical issues that prevent us from performing, but no man will just decide to stop when he’s actively engaged in the process.
If we shut it down it’s only because you’re yelling “STOP!” or we suddenly don’t want to cheat on our partner, if we have one. Those are about the only two explanations for not “finishing.” In every other case there’s no stop sign ahead for us. Our light is always set to green.
Marijuana is commonly referred to as a gateway drug by its opponents. Well, to men, cuddling is our “gateway drug” to the land of hope, dreams and … nakedness.
Copyright © The Naked Truther / 2013 Singular Communications, LLC.
“The Naked Truther” is an anonymous blogger who claims to provide the naked truth about how men feel and think about women. You can read more from the “Truther” by visiting thenakedtruthforwomen.blogspot.com