It’s not always easy, but there are few things more fulfilling than being the sole proprietor of my joyously independent and singular life.
By Kim Calvert
Yes, it’s 2011 and I’m still single. I think I heard a collective sigh from all of you, but I can’t tell if it was of relief or despair!
Here’s a tricky question. Tell me what you think being “single” means. Probably the one definition we can all agree on is “not married.” OK, that’s easy — unless a couple is separated. Then what? What if you’re in a romantic relationship and maintain separate households; are you still single? If you were cohabitating, would it be different? Or, on the other end of the spectrum, does it mean you’re lonely and live in social isolation?
Since becoming the editor of Singular magazine, I’ve realized how difficult it is to find a definition for “single” that a roomful of people would accept as valid. And don’t even try to define the “typical” single person — at least in terms that are free of stereotypes.
The truth is, we single people are a wonderfully diverse group who share one particular characteristic: we live in a society that still believes being married, or being in a long-term coupled relationship, is not just an option, it’s the better way to go — better than being single.
In fact, there are those in our ranks who can’t wait to shed their single status, even if it means partnering with the wrong person. For those singles, it’s more important to achieve the seal of approval from their peer group than to face the unique challenges (and rewards) that come when you are solely responsible for your life.
When we launched Singular, one of the reasons we selected the word singular is because we recognized the stigma attached to the word single — which is bizarre, considering we are one of the fastest growing demographics in the world.
So Singular became not only the name of our magazine, it became a noun to describe this new, realistic and positive view of what it means to be single. Since we came up with this particular use of the word, we should be able to define it, and if this describes who you are, then you’re in the right place:
Singular: independent, unique, savvy, the sole proprietor of one’s life.
Note there’s nothing in that definition about relationship status. Being singular is so much bigger than whether or not you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s an attitude and a way of life.
I think you’re smart enough to know the difference between being a “sole proprietor” and being a “partner.” You know when you make your life decisions jointly or independently and if you want to change your status to one or the other, great. It’s your choice and your life.
However, if you can identify with our definition of “singular” or you would like to become “singular” yourself, we invite you join us here on the pages of Singular magazine, as a member of our SingularCity online community and at our Singular events.
We former “singles” who are now “singulars” have taken back the power to choose how we look at and live our lives. Let’s choose to make it a singularly great 2011!
Copyright © Kim Calvert/2011 Singular Communications, LLC.