Human Bed Warmers Make Strange Bedfellows

Human Bed Warmers Make Strange Bedfellows


London Holiday Inn chain tries to attract single travelers by offering warm bodies to take the chill out of the sheets.

Human Bed Warmers Make Strange Bedfellows

At three London Holiday Inns, a promotional idea for single travelers and business folk to have their cold sheets warmed by some hot bods has raised eyebrows and concerns, not to mention the room temperature. Human bed warming services were offered free in January, testing the waters (and the thread count) with singulars who may prefer pre-warmed bedding, rather than a pillow mint at bedtime.

Paying strangers to jump into your bed sounds, at first, desperate – then dirty, in a number of contexts. But, when you realize they will be clothed head to toe, totally indifferent to you and done with their part before you’re ready to start, it sounds more like … marriage. That was an obvious joke, but isn’t this entire concept laughable?

Staff members at the hotels in London don protective body suits (it’s always good to wear protection) while in a guest’s bed for five minutes of heat in the sheets to help their solo bed guests transition from the wintry weather to cozy covers. Don’t expect a “Pretty Woman” response to this bedtime booking service, however. There is no contact with the guests and, in fact, this allows hotel staff to be in your room while you are out if you call ahead.

In a relationship, one can be a bed warmer after a long-term relationship grows dull, and one partner continues to use the other for comfort and normalcy. A different way to be a bed warmer is to simply mean nothing to a bedmate, having hook-ups instead of love affairs. And, finally, warming someone’s bed can occur when a singular isn’t ready to sleep alone after a divorce, a breakup, a passage, or just in fear of being (gasp!) single. In those cases, you’re a soft place for them to land, but what’s in it for you?

When Goldilocks and the Three Bears swapped bunks, Goldie eventually found one that was “just right.” Perhaps she knew what the London hoteliers do — people (and bears?) sleep better when their body temperature rises, and the shock of cool sheets and cold limbs at bedtime may slow the slumber process.

Furthermore — and Goldie was too young for this part — women reach orgasms faster and stronger when their feet are warm. So maybe hot water bottles in Victorian days and an extra quilt at the foot of the bed were more than just old-fashioned means of avoiding the sniffles.

The benefits of warm sheets for a single person can be achieved with a heating pad, a hot water bottle, or spending some pre-dream time reading or relaxing in bed, thereby warming one’s own environs. No other person needs to be in your hotel bed, unless a more enjoyable progression of events takes place.

The London hotel’s idea does, however, throw attention to the demographics of singles and lone travelers, which is positive! Now, if they could just take out the creepiness, please, and continue their brainstorming on ways to serve the single population, that would be, as the Brits say, brilliant.

J. C. RussellJ.C. Russell has contributed to entertainment and print media as a humorist and a single lifestyle expert. Besides writing, her varied background includes TV casting and development, teaching, and business management. In 2009, J.C.’s “Single Life” stories on the national page of debuted as the number one relationships column.
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