Lucia, the “Queen of the Cougar Jungle” offers tips for men on how to attract the attention of women who are older, wiser and know what they want.
If you’re able to date a Cougar, you’ll be one of the lucky few because there are many more Cubs (younger guys) than there are Cougars. Here are my tips on how to win out over the competition.
How to approach
Approaching a Cougar in person is easier than approaching women your own age or younger because she will be receptive even if she’s not interested. Older women understand that it takes a lot for a man to risk rejection in public, so they will try to make it as painless as possible.
After looking to make sure she’s not wearing a wedding ring, strike up a situational conversation. This means, if you’re standing in line somewhere, ask about the event: “Have you heard if this is a good movie?” or something like, “Do you know if the eggplant sandwich is good?”
If she’s using the latest iphone say, “Hey, I was thinking of getting one. How do you like it?” Don’t start with a compliment, because there’s not much she can say to that except, “Thank you.”
To make a good impression online, send a message or e-mail that refers to something in her profile that you found interesting. You’ll turn her off if you only write a few words, such as, “Hi” or “You’re sexy.” She’ll likely not respond to your “wink” unless she’s very interested. Cougars have their choice of hot, younger guys. They’re not going to waste their time on someone who’s not willing to put much effort into engaging their interest.
How to get a date with a cougar
If you’ve approached her and she was receptive, ask for her number by saying something like: “I’d love to talk again sometime,” or “I’d love to hang out sometime. Can I get your number?” If she’s interested and available she’ll give it to you but if she’s not, she’ll have a good excuse.
If you’ve met online, ask to talk on the phone after exchanging 3 or 4 e-mails. If she’s attracted to you, she’ll agree and as long as you don’t turn her off when you talk on the phone, she’ll likely go on a date with you.
Don’t feel you need to do something formal like go to the opera or theatre just because she’s older. She’s into younger guys because she still looks and feels younger than her age, so don’t be afraid to suggest something fun and relaxed. Ask her what type of things she likes to do and then pick something that fits your budget. Yes, you will be paying on the first date. Even if she insists on paying, tell her she can pay next time. You want to show her that you’re not looking for a meal ticket.
Do not introduce her to your friends or family on the first date. This is the time to talk and get to know each other, to see if you’re both interested in going on a second date. Don’t add to that pressure by introducing her to people who may not agree with younger men dating older women.
How to keep her happy
Don’t play games. She probably knows all of them and no longer has the time or patience to play them. If you’re interested, say so. If there’s an issue, talk about it, instead of being passive/aggressive or disappearing.
Keep your word: The fastest way to lose a cougar is by saying you will do something and then not follow through. Call/show up when you say you will or send her a text to let her know what happened.
Be open to learning: She’s probably more sexually experienced than you, so be open to listening to suggestions and trying new things. Whatever you do, don’t be a “minute man.” She knows what great sex entails. She won’t put up with a “Speedy Gonzalez.”
For more tips on how to catch a Cougar, listen to Lucia’s “How to Catch a Cougar” teleseminar.