How You Feel About Being Single


View being single in a different light and you may be surprised how it stops being a problem and instead becomes an opportunity to find your true self.

Being Single

sunlight789 / 123RF Photo

Just like everyone else, there are times when I want to quit my job. The more I think about how much happier I’d be if I chucked it all and took up selling ice cream on the beach, the worse it gets. Pretty soon it’s not just the job that needs to change, it’s everything and everyone.

It’s the law of attraction in action. The concept is eons old, but it became a pop culture phenomenon with the publication of “The Secret” several years ago. The idea is that as you think, you feel, and how you feel creates a vibrational energy that attracts energy of a similar frequency. Change the way you think and you’ll change the way you feel — and the way you experience life. In other words, stop being negative, start being positive and watch how your life changes.

I’m not a New Age groupie, but I have found the principle to be valid. For example, feeling depressed about your job, thinking about how you’re not getting paid what you deserve, stewing over how your boss doesn’t respect your talents, that kiss-up weasel in the next cubicle is so annoying … letting it churn around in your head… The more you think about it the worse you feel and then, even more things go wrong, not only at work but in every area of your life. That’s the law of attraction. You get back the same energy you project and what you project is a direct result of what you’re thinking and thus, feeling.

Same goes for how we hold being single. Spend a lot of time mulling over how being single sucks, how life would be so much better if you had a life partner but for some unfair reason you’ve been shut out of the one thing everyone else has … that last blind date set up by your happily married friends was a hideous disaster … how dare they think that you would have anything in common with such a creep … online dating is even worse … your eggs are drying up … you’ll never have a child … and why does God hate you?

Whoa! Talk about falling into a downward spiral of negative thinking. If the law of attraction is valid, it’s going to get even worse — fast. Pretty scary to think that what goes on between your ears can have such a dramatic impact on how you experience life — that complaining about something will give you even more things to complain about just because you’re complaining!

The good news is that we have the power to change how we feel by taking charge of our thought patterns. Instead of treading the same old path like a donkey in a dark coal mine, make a deliberate effort to appreciate everything that is good in your life — the cute way your dog’s rear end wags along with his tail, the amazing rose that’s blooming in the neighbor’s yard, the peaceful, quiet space of a home that’s all yours to dream in, be in and rest in without compromise.

Instead of focusing on the drawbacks of being single, focus on the positives in your life, including the optimistic aspects of single living: being able to chart your own course, follow your dreams, go, live, eat as you wish without someone else’s judgment or control. Appreciate who you are and notice all the things to be grateful for that surround you and you’ll change how you feel about being single. And what’s even better, all of that positive energy you’re radiating will likely attract more opportunities, more adventure and more vibrationally similar people who share your positive outlook.

Now that’s what I call a singular life — and it’s available to all of us, if we’re willing to take control of our thought life.

Copyright © Kim Calvert/2014 Singular Communications, LLC.

Kim CalvertKim Calvert is the editor of Singular magazine and the founder of the SingularCity social networking community. An outspoken champion of people who are living their lives as a “me” instead of a “we,” Kim oversees the creative direction and editorial content of the magazine and online social networking community. She secures contributors and is responsible for maintaining the fun, upbeat, inspirational and often-humorous tone of Singular, a lifestyle guide for successful single living.

Leave a Comment on Facebook



One thought on “How You Feel About Being Single

  1. How true– just about everything you wrote as an example, happened to me. So. I now consciously, stop negative thoughts the second they enter my head. It’s a process that will take some time, as I have been running a negative tape over & over in my head for a very long time. It’s one day at a time, one thought at a time. Thanks for the reminder!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.