You too can honor U.S. vets – and learn a thing or two about relationships along the way.

When Paul Leazer, a twice-divorced and currently single plastering contractor from Costa Mesa, signed up for a seminar about relationships four years ago, he was simply fishing for some insights into the way men and women relate to one another. The weekend-long workshop didn’t teach him ow to excel at the dating game, but did nudge him toward an altogether gentler epiphany.

“I learned it’s all about building meaningful relationships with the opposite sex,” Leazer says. “Not necessarily intimate or romantic relationships, but something that has to do with a higher purpose in life.” So when Laura Walsh, an account manager from Woodland Hills he had met at the seminar, asked Leazer to help coordinate the annual veterans holiday celebration held on the grounds of the Veterans Affairs campus in Brentwood, he leaped at the chance

The event, now in its 16th year, fêtes about 2,000 vets and their families with a lavish pre-Christmas supper, live music performances and assorted entertainment. Though it began as a modest affair in 1992, when several locals gathered at the VA hospital during the holidays to strum their guitars and sing carols for bedridden vets, the party has snowballed into a grand production. It’s now staffed by 350 volunteers who, throughout the year, organize fund- raisers, work the phones to solicit food donations from L.A. restaurants and equipment from party-rental companies, or network to wrangle celebrity guests like James Belushi and Jason Alexander.

Two nonprofit organizations, Men’s Divisions International and the Family of Women, local Veterans Affairs volunteer programs and West Los Angeles churches all pitch in to prep for and host the celebration. “It’s just neat for the community to see that men and women can work together like that,” Leazer says.

Though no war vet himself, he explains that his involvement has rekindled emotional ties to those who are. “My father was in World War II, and I had a cousin who went to Vietnam and died when he was 21 years old. He never had a chance to have a family, or kids, or even find out who he really was,” Leazer adds. “But he did give his life for the country I live in today, and I want to honor that.”

Volunteers at the event testify that coming together each December to roast turkeys and bake sweet potato pies, put up a giant party tent, festoon tables with flags and flowers, or stuff goodie bags for the vets — many of them homeless, disabled or recovering from substance addictions — who line up expectantly hours before the party has brought the plight of U.S. armed forces veterans closer to heart.

Elizabeth Stern, a second-grade teacher from West L.A. and a Family of Women member, first volunteered at the party a decade ago, cooking and serving food. “I saw the faces of the veterans, and the camaraderie of the men and women who were putting the event on, and it brought me enormous enjoyment,” she says. Stern kept coming back every year, eventually taking on logistical and managerial responsibilities. “We have active-duty personnel who come, people who are well adjusted, people who have gone through rehab at the VA hospital and gotten their lives back together. But a lot of the veterans are broken men — they show up at the party looking for free food, for some entertainment and some love — and feel ever so grateful that we provide that.”

The California Department of Veterans Affairs reports that more than 27,000 vets return home looking for work every year. Many have difficulty landing a steady job or rejoining the flow of civilian life, and struggle with post-traumatic stress disorders. Vets also make up 12 percent of Los Angeles County’s homeless population.

For Laura Walsh, participating in the event meant personal engagement with an issue that is intensely politicized, especially during a presidential election year, yet remains oddly remote to those of us who have no relatives or close acquaintances affected by the ongoing wars the U.S. is waging in Iraq and Afghanistan. “I’d never been involved with anything that had to do with veterans before this,” Walsh says. “And once I was, it shocked me to learn how little veterans are appreciated. I still tear up when I recall running into a Vietnam vet who came to the party and saw a huge banner we had put up that said, ‘Welcome home and thank you.’ He told me it was the first time he’d ever been thanked for his service.”

Colonel Tom Magness, a Desert Storm veteran who oversees a division of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in charge of civil and military construction throughout the Southwest, attended the event last year for the first time. He brought along his children and spouse. “No sooner did we set foot on the grounds,” he recalls, “than someone assigned my 16-year-old and 12-year-old to be greeters in the reception area, alongside my wife. I walked around and spoke to some of these warriors, and gave them a hug, and thanked them. I was in uniform, and probably one of the few active-duty military men they saw that day. It probably meant something to them, but it meant a lot more to me and my family.

“Most veterans just love to talk and share their experiences,” Magness adds. “And when they see another soldier, they can’t wait to do so. I’m an airborne ranger. And those paratroopers who were in attendance couldn’t wait to tell me how many jumps they had, and compare badges — stuff like that.”

For the rest of us noncombatants, satisfaction lies in the knowledge that we’re engaged in an effort that reaches out to war veterans compassionately, and apolitically.

“You can get mad at the politicians who pulled the trigger and made those decisions to go and wage war,” Leazer says. “If you disagree with it, that’s fine. But why take it out on veterans? We could,” he adds, “strive to bring our community together, and quit going to war.”

“I learned it’s all about building meaningful relationships with the opposite sex,” Leazer says. “Not necessarily intimate or romantic relationships, but something that has to do with a higher purpose in life.” So when Laura Walsh, an account manager from Woodland Hills he had met at the seminar, asked Leazer to help coordinate the annual veterans holiday celebration held on the grounds of the Veterans Affairs campus in Brentwood, he leaped at the chance.

The event, now in its 16th year, fêtes about 2,000 vets and their families with a lavish pre-Christmas supper, live music performances and assorted entertainment. Though it began as a modest affair in 1992, when several locals gathered at the VA hospital during the holidays to strum their guitars and sing carols for bedridden vets, the party has snowballed into a grand production. It’s now staffed by 350 volunteers who, throughout the year, organize fund- raisers, work the phones to solicit food donations from L.A. restaurants and equipment from party-rental companies, or network to wrangle celebrity guests like James Belushi and Jason Alexander.

Two nonprofit organizations, Men’s Divisions International and the Family of Women, local Veterans Affairs volunteer programs and West Los Angeles churches all pitch in to prep for and host the celebration. “It’s just neat for the community to see that men and women can work together like that,” Leazer says.

Though no war vet himself, he explains that his involvement has rekindled emotional ties to those who are. “My father was in World War II, and I had a cousin who went to Vietnam and died when he was 21 years old. He never had a chance to have a family, or kids, or even find out who he really was,” Leazer adds. “But he did give his life for the country I live in today, and I want to honor that.”

Volunteers at the event testify that coming together each December to roast turkeys and bake sweet potato pies, put up a giant party tent, festoon tables with flags and flowers, or stuff goodie bags for the vets — many of them homeless, disabled or recovering from substance addictions — who line up expectantly hours before the party has brought the plight of U.S. armed forces veterans closer to heart.

Elizabeth Stern, a second-grade teacher from West L.A. and a Family of Women member, first volunteered at the party a decade ago, cooking and serving food. “I saw the faces of the veterans, and the camaraderie of the men and women who were putting the event on, and it brought me enormous enjoyment,” she says. Stern kept coming back every year, eventually taking on logistical and managerial responsibilities. “We have active-duty personnel who come, people who are well adjusted, people who have gone through rehab at the VA hospital and gotten their lives back together. But a lot of the veterans are broken men — they show up at the party looking for free food, for some entertainment and some love — and feel ever so grateful that we provide that.”

The California Department of Veterans Affairs reports that more than 27,000 vets return home looking for work every year. Many have difficulty landing a steady job or rejoining the flow of civilian life, and struggle with post-traumatic stress disorders. Vets also make up 12 percent of Los Angeles County’s homeless population.

For Laura Walsh, participating in the event meant personal engagement with an issue that is intensely politicized, especially during a presidential election year, yet remains oddly remote to those of us who have no relatives or close acquaintances affected by the ongoing wars the U.S. is waging in Iraq and Afghanistan. “I’d never been involved with anything that had to do with veterans before this,” Walsh says. “And once I was, it shocked me to learn how little veterans are appreciated. I still tear up when I recall running into a Vietnam vet who came to the party and saw a huge banner we had put up that said, ‘Welcome home and thank you.’ He told me it was the first time he’d ever been thanked for his service.”

Colonel Tom Magness, a Desert Storm veteran who oversees a division of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in charge of civil and military construction throughout the Southwest, attended the event last year for the first time. He brought along his children and spouse. “No sooner did we set foot on the grounds,” he recalls, “than someone assigned my 16-year-old and 12-year-old to be greeters in the reception area, alongside my wife. I walked around and spoke to some of these warriors, and gave them a hug, and thanked them. I was in uniform, and probably one of the few active-duty military men they saw that day. It probably meant something to them, but it meant a lot more to me and my family.

“Most veterans just love to talk and share their experiences,” Magness adds. “And when they see another soldier, they can’t wait to do so. I’m an airborne ranger. And those paratroopers who were in attendance couldn’t wait to tell me how many jumps they had, and compare badges — stuff like that.”

For the rest of us noncombatants, satisfaction lies in the knowledge that we’re engaged in an effort that reaches out to war veterans compassionately, and apolitically.

“You can get mad at the politicians who pulled the trigger and made those decisions to go and wage war,” Leazer says.

“If you disagree with it, that’s fine. But why take it out on veterans? We could,” he adds, “strive to bring our community together, and quit going to war.”

GET INVOLVED

Men’s Divisions International, the Family of Women, and the Veterans Administration Greater Los Angeles Healthcare System will host the 16th Annual Veterans Holiday Celebration on Sunday, December 7, at the VA campus in Brentwood. The festivities, which include dinner, live music performances, dancing and entertainment, kick off at 1:30 p.m. at the Wadsworth Theater, 11301 Wilshire Blvd. To be a volunteer or donate funds, visit vaevent.org or call 866-955-VETS