The Myth about Chasing Women

The Myth about Chasing Women


The old idea that men enjoy the challenge of chasing women is laid to rest by self-proclaimed honest, hetero single dude, The Naked Truther.

The Myth about Chasing Women

Yanlev / 123RF Photo

A married female friend of mine tried to tell me tonight she believes men lose interest after they’ve “got” the woman because it’s all about “the chase.” I’ve heard this analysis from other women before and wonder how they ever came up with this one. I’m here to once and for all, refute this notion that men love the chase. It’s complete and total BS.

Sure, I understand why women would think men enjoy it. All the crazy stuff we do, the attempts, the time spent to woo is usually considerable and often bordering on ridiculous. But this effort has nothing to do with the pleasure of the journey. It’s all about the end result. Most men will do whatever they need to do in order to succeed. We are goal oriented: for food, jobs and for women — especially for women.

Do not confuse our excitement with the final result and all of the painful steps it took to get there. To illustrate:

Two guys walk into a bar at 9 p.m. The first guy talks to as many ladies as he can over the next 4 hours. He empties his wallet buying drinks, eventually gets drunk, meets a woman at last call and is lucky enough to take her home at 2 a.m., but not before they stop to grab something to eat. Then they go back to her place for a long, drawn out make-out session where they may or may not end up having sex. He eventually passes out at around 5 a.m.

The second guy who walked into the bar at 9 p.m. meets a girl at 9:05. They share a laugh, have one drink and by 9:45, they’re making out hard core. The girl whispers into his ear that she wants to have sex with him. He pays the tab and they leave straight back to her place. By 10:30, they’re naked. By midnight, he’s sound asleep. Happy. Contented. Satisfied.

Okay ladies, here’s the question: which guy do you think any man would prefer to be? If your answer is not the second guy, then no wonder you have problems with men. You still have a lot to learn.

The first thing you need to understand about men is that just about everything we do is geared toward getting women. The car we drive, the jobs we do, the clothes we wear, the smart ass comments we make. It’s all about attracting the lady. Plus, time is money … and blue balls. Efficiency is the name of our game. All this chasing, jumping through hoops business is exhausting. If we could get women by sitting in our underwear, watching cartoons on TV, and eating cheese, we’d never leave the house — ever!

The only time where it may be valid to suggest that we like chasing women is because we don’t like it when women give off the vibe that they’re easy — with everyone. We want you to be “easy” only because it’s us. Essentially, in our particular case, you’re not making us chase you because there’s no point in trying to resist our charm, good looks and magic hands.

If a guy does quickly lose interest in you after he’s “gotten you” then sorry sister, he was never really that into you to begin with and was probably only interested in having sex with you. It’s referred to as: “Hit it and quit it.”

I think the men like chasing women misconception comes from the fact that women are the ones who enjoy being chased, so naturally, they just think we should enjoy it too. Sorry to burst your bubble on this one. Just ask Vinnie Chase. In Entourage some girl told him that he was going to have to “work for it.” He laughed off her requirement and said “The reason I got famous was so I wouldn’t have to work for it anymore.” Normal men only work because they have to, not because they want to.

If anything, we tolerate the chase, just as long as in the end, we get what we were chasing. If chasing women was so enjoyable for men, it wouldn’t matter if we ever got the girl because the chase would be the fun part.

Honestly, the ride sucks. Parking the car in the garage is where it’s at.

Copyright © The Naked Truther / 2013 Singular Communications, LLC.

“The Naked Truther” is an anonymous blogger who claims to provide the naked truth about how men feel and think about women. You can read more from the “Truther” by visiting
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4 thoughts on “The Myth about Chasing Women

  1. To Heather Orr, Stephanie, and Diane,

    Let me try and help out. Speaking as a guy and reading the article as a guy it makes perfect sense to me and I agree with it. Having said that, I understand your perspective as well, and you are all making valid points. I think part of the problem is that we are describing different aspects of the so called “chase”. Or should I say, we are using the same word to describe two different concepts and situations.
    What the women are describing in the comments seems more along the lines of addressing what is true of both men and women, which is that it is more likely to get tired of something you already have acquired or know you can get as compared to something that you want but don’t have yet.
    Analogy: If you’ve been saving up for a mercedes for 2 years, you tend to be excited about during the time you’ve been saving. I’d argue that in a lot of cases actually owning the Mercedes wears off quite quickly after the purchase. So if you had the money all along and bought the car on day one, you’d really like it for a while and then it would eventually just be a car – nothing exciting. This is what’s going on between men and women in a lot of cases. In fact, on the woman’s side, if the man were to confess his “undying love” for the woman relatively quickly, that is a surefire way to have her never answer another phone call or email.
    Same thing is going on. She might be creeped out in some cases, but even if she’s not and genuinely like him, it’s no fun for her because it’s not a challenge. I’ve heard this hundreds of times from different guys and have experienced it myself. Most of us went through this at one point or another.
    There’s more to say but this comment is getting a little bit too long and I haven’t addressed everything. What I can say is this – the author is addressing a very specific situation that the majority of guys would agree is extremely unpleasant. We don’t enjoy the whole process of working up the courage to approach women, get shot down several times for (from the man’s perspective) arbitrary reasons in a lot of cases, playing games, emailing and not getting a response, excuses, flaking on dates, strange behavior and excuses, working for several hours in a bar (in the article’s case) on the slim chance that you could successfully hook up with a girl, etc… this whole process is incredibly uncomfortable for many men, and for a large majority of others, impossible because they don’t even have the skill or understanding of how it works, or they’re too shy, etc… Guys talk to each other and complain about these same issues over and over and over again. I do it, and I genuinely love women and being around them and dating them, but the process is something I just grit my teeth suffer through and bear because of the way women and men interact, it’s a necessary evil in my view. But the bottom line is, the process that the author is referring to is not enjoyable.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m not accusing women of anything, in fact, I am well aware of all the BS that women go through as well, and that isn’t pleasant either. I believe men do not fully understand how women are wired and women do not fully understand how men are wired. This causes a lot of misunderstanding and frustration on both sides. Let’s work towards clearing things up!

  2. I am confused by the Naked Truther examples. Which of the two women would he continue to have a relationship with? What I gather from the rest of the artical is he wouldn’t have. a relationship with either of the 2 women. Men want the chase, and the sad thing for women that buy into the idea that men don’t want the chase is they don’t get called back.

  3. If women didn’t continually come up against this very real fact, it wouldn’t even have ever come up. Just because this author is different, doesn’t invalidate the experiences of countless women over the years. And I happen to love and admire men. But it is NOT a myth. Even men who honestly do love do this (once captured, no longer desired).

  4. The big problem is that women don’t exactly understand what “the chase” is.

    In my article, “The Hunt Explained” ( I talk about “the chase” using a hunting metaphor. It works like this:

    In the hunt, there are two main parts: the “hunt” (tracking-and-locating) part and the “kill” part. Hunting can be fun as it involves a lot of strategic planning, learning, anticipating, etc. but the real point is the kill. Nobody wants to do all that work only to go hungry.

    Girls, consider this: by the time we’ve found you, the hunt (“chase”) part is over! We’re on the kill portion of our program by that time. Get it?

    So, what happens if you try to put us back on the hunting phase? Answer: we go track someone else – easier, more readily-available prey. It’s really that simple.

    Please stop perpetuating this “chase myth” throughout womanhood! You’re just hurting yourselves and frankly, I hate seeing that.

    Dr. Dennis W. Neder
    CEO/Executive Producer
    BAM! Productions
    Remington Publications
    Producers: “BAM! TV” and “Love and Sex”
    Publishers: “Being a Man in a Woman’s World I, II & III”

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