If you want to change something, you’ve got to change the way you think about it – and that includes what you think about being single.
Mladen Mitrinovic /123RF Photo
Most of us have grown up hearing that being single is bad and being coupled − better yet married − is good. Over and over, the message has been conveyed in a thousand different ways in movies, TV shows, books, advertisements, by self-help gurus and by family and friends. In fact, we’ve been told it’s bad to be single so many times that the idea is rarely challenged. It’s just accepted as absolute truth.
I don’t want to convince you that being in a long-term romantic relationship isn’t a fine state to be in; if that’s what you’ve chosen or that’s the card you’ve been dealt. But why is it that for coupled to be good, we have to make being single bad? Why can’t it just be different, with no value judgment attached?
The idea that to be for something means you have to be against something else is something I’ve seen many times in my own life and certainly in regard to Singular magazine and its social network, SingularCity. People assume that since Singular is for single people, it must be against being coupled. That’s not it at all. The whole point is to offer single men and women a lifestyle magazine and social network that speaks to them with a positive voice rather than the usual “let us fix you because you’re single” tone that’s so prevalent in our culture. Still, many people assume that since Singular is for singles, it must be against romantic love, coupling and marriage. Not true.
The point is to take the destructive focus off what people, including many of us who are single, have elected to believe about our relationship status and instead focus on what we’d like “being single” to be. For me, that’s a world where relationship status is as neutral as eye color – yours are blue, mine are brown – different yes, but certainly one color is not inherently better than the other.
I believe that if you want something to change, including the negative stereotypes about being single, you’ve got to change your attitude about it. If you’re single and spend your time thinking, “Oh, this is so terrible, what will I do? If I were married I’d be happy,” it isn’t going to make your life any better. In fact, I guarantee it will make “being single” worse. If you’re a person who thinks being single equates with sadness and that being for singles means you’re against marriage, consider a change in your thinking if you want to experience a change in your life.
As soon as you refuse to wallow with the rest of the world in endless discontent about this and other issues, you’ll experience a momentous change that will touch, in a positive way, everyone who crosses your path.
Copyright © Kim Calvert/2015 Singular Communications, LLC.
Kim Calvert is the editor of Singular magazine and the founder of the SingularCity social networking community. An outspoken champion of people who are living their lives as a “me” instead of a “we,” Kim oversees the creative direction and editorial content of the magazine and online social networking community. She secures contributors and is responsible for maintaining the fun, upbeat, inspirational and often-humorous tone of Singular, a lifestyle guide for successful single living.