What It Means to Be Single and Happy
You feel light, powerful, capable and excited about the prospect of just being you – not half of a whole – but fully, totally complete as a party of one.
It’s not surprising that so many single people are trying so hard to find a life partner. Doing it alone, being 100 percent responsible for everything from scooping out the cat box to paying all the bills can be a daunting prospect.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve stayed with someone long after I knew the relationship was seriously flawed — made excuses and lived in denial that the person I was sharing my life with, was slowly but surely changing me into someone I didn’t want to be.
Why is it that we so often prefer to be “unhappily coupled” rather than believe we can be single and happy? It’s as if our culture has accepted, without question, that coupled = happy and single = unhappy, when in reality, an entire spectrum of options exist.
In my experience, the coupled = happy is the first stage. That’s when you find someone you think you could fall in love with. Things are great. You’re both on your best behavior, your time together is fresh and exciting, the future looks full of promise and you wonder if soul mates might really exist.
In time, those things that were so intriguing become a bit annoying and those flaws, the ones you try to ignore start to surface. You find yourself wondering when the next shoe will drop, you’re walking on eggs shells and all those other clichés that describe how it feels to be in the same room with the person you once thought held the key to your happiness but now is starting to drive you a bit crazy.
Coupled = happy is no longer where you’re at, and if you have the courage and strength, you’ll pack it up and move into single = unhappy: the raw, just split up with him or her stage that feels very much like a bad case of the flu. You feel like you’re going to die, but one day you wake up and realize you feel light, powerful, capable and excited about the prospect of just being you — not half of a whole — but totally complete as a party of one. And that my friends, is what it means to be single and happy.
I love that stage. Where you’re free from the pain of the last relationship and can look back with such relief that you’re no longer dealing with the control, or the anger, or the nagging, or the jealousy, or the selfishness or the pure boredom that was keeping you from becoming the person you have the potential to be.
Regardless of your place on the singular continuum, whether you’re coming out of a relationship (and would like to hide under the bed) or if you’ve resigned to be forever single, or you’re dipping into the dating pool, Singular magazine and the SingularCity singles network were created for you.
Yes, it really is possible to be single and happy. It doesn’t mean being lonely and it doesn’t mean you can’t experience romance and love. It means being comfortable with where you’re at today — regardless of your relationship status. When you do that, you’ll be amazed by how beautiful and complete your life will be, single or not.
Copyright © Kim Calvert/2012 Singular Communications, LLC.
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