It’s bad enough when coupled people give us grief, but what about when singles get down on other singles?
Some days I feel so over the battle of trying to change people’s perception of what it means to be single. The more I try, the more the negative stereotypes persist, particularly the old ideas that all single people are desperately seeking “love,” that singles are not the kind of people you want to see at your chic event and just an overall attitude that being single is akin to having a chronic skin rash that makes other people cringe a bit when a single person reaches out their hand to shake theirs.
It’s all really amazing considering that unmarried people comprise about 50 percent of the U.S. population and, globally, are an emerging majority, but apparently old ideas do die hard. Ask anyone who has dealt with negative stereotypes about their race, gender, age, hair color — you name it.
Here’s an example of something that happened recently that illustrates my point. Halloween, which is coming up, is a big party season here in Los Angeles. Someone I know — a single woman — is planning a big Halloween bash that Singular magazine readers and SingularCity members would probably enjoy attending, so I offered to help her promote her event in exchange for some tickets to give to members of our social network.
She kept putting me off with one excuse after another until, finally, she told me that her party wasn’t for singles and she didn’t want anyone to think it was, because if that was the perception, she didn’t think she stood a chance of having a successful event. It’s not just because she wants coupled people to feel it’s okay to attend; it’s about the dreaded singles stereotype. “I don’t do singles events,” she almost growled, despite the fact that probably half the people at her event will be, in fact, single.
Well, heck. I don’t do singles events either, certainly not like what I see in some of the e-mails I get from matchmaking companies that offer “beautiful women looking for you” and “find love in the fall” and “don’t spend the holidays alone — come to our party and find romance.” But unfortunately, that’s the idea in most people’s minds (single or not) when they think of who and what single people are all about.
I know I’m not like that. I know my single friends aren’t like that. I know most of you aren’t like that — so is it any wonder that single people don’t want to self-identify as single? And yes, I know some single people that I wouldn’t want to see at my parties either, but not because they’re single; it’s because they have obnoxious personalities, just like some coupled people I know.
When people continue to assume that single people as a group equate with desperate daters incapable of being savvy, sophisticated and irresistible (as many of you are), it has me ready to throw in my Singular towel. It’s bad enough when coupled people discriminate against singles, but when single people do it too? Well, in the alleged words of Marie Antoinette, “Let them eat cake” and off with my head!
Copyright © Kim Calvert/2013 Singular Communications, LLC.